The experience of fear is universal. It is one of the first emotion we experience. Although I can’t seem to remember, I’m sure I was scared “to death(!)” of being born!
Fear is probably our second major survival instinct. And upon second thought, it may be even more primary than our instinct for propagation of the species.
We need fear. It keeps us (most of the time) from doing things that are harmful to our well-being. It is helpful to develop a HEALTHY sense of fear.
Now, we are all aware of various phobias that people develop, and that is a sense of fear that is super-heightened. Kind of like an allergic reaction to certain stimuli. That is another topic of discussion.
What I’m discussing here is fear based on ignorance. It’s that equation:
F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real.
Maybe you were scared of your first day of school. Any school. The first time time you drove in a car solo. (I was really scared about that!) How about the first time you met your future in-laws!
I think you get the point.
But notice one thing: These fears showed up when you did these things for the FIRST TIME! After that, the fear usually went away quite quickly.
There are other fears which don’t go away. Fear of loss. Health, money, loved ones can be lost at any time. These fears are constantly present. And they should be constantly present. They keep us on our toes to make prudent decisions and perform prudent acts.
Yet, in attempting to perform prudently, we need knowledge and understanding of what is before us to decide or act upon. We need as much clarity intellectually and emotionally about the various courses of action presented to us in order to take the “best” course of action for us at any point in time.
For Polycystic Kidney Disease patients, quite a number of choices are presented in just about all areas of life. Decisions need to made not only medically, but also in the area of family, career, finances, and other areas of life.
Clearly, the choices PKD patients are faced with add to the burden of having the disease.
There are decision that only you can make. And no matter what course of action is chosen, there are consequences.
The obvious recommendation here is to get as much information you can about each situation. And get real information. In medical decisions, get as much information as you can from your doctors, do research on the Web, and “talk” to people who have gone down the same path as you are now traveling, keeping in mind that medical technology is constantly changing, and that the opinion of someone who may have had a negative experience a few years ago may no longer be valid.
Check out your assumptions. One person I know was scared of hemodialysis because she saw a video of patients having huge needles put into people’s arms. I reassured this person they you don’t sstart out withthose big needles. They start you off small and work up to the big needles.
In this case, further information changed the fear.
So, develop healthy fear. Learn what is worth being fearful of, and what is not being fearful of.
What are your fears? Are they real? Or are they fears NOT based on facts?
Please let me know by adding your comments!
Thanks!
Peace and Blessings!
Coach Richie Perl
I think that fear from ignorance is extremely powerful. Everybody fears the unknown, and when faced with the unknown, whatever that may be, they assume the worst, and that is why they are afraid. They don’t know what is under their beds, so they assume there are monsters. People have fear in uncomfortable situations, which are usually only uncomfortable because they are unfamiliar. Fear is okay though, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of living. I think that you have to have fear to have courage. By courage, I do not mean fearlessness; I mean having the ability to be afraid, but still overcome and work through fears. And I think that courage builds strength. I believe that we need to have fears to have courage, and we must be courageous, not fearless, to live and take risks and not hold ourselves back, to live to the fullest.
Applying this to PKD…I was really scared when I found out because my doctor was not sure right away whether it was ARPKD or ADPKD and after learning about ARPKD I was extremely scared because the information on the internet said most people with it have transplants before the age of 10. And ADPKD didn’t sound great either. But I was really scared because I didn’t know which it was, and I didn’t know what to expect. I know now that it is ADPKD, but I still don’t know what to expect, which scares me sometimes, but I feel like even if it gets in the way of my life, I don’t have to let it get in the way of living, and I can still be happy and have friends, and have fun, and that’s what matters.
I could write more, but I feel like I write too much sometimes…
Thank you, A, for your comment.
You say you don’t know what to expect. Of course not! You’ve never experienced this before!
But…many others have. Now, although everyone’s experience is, by definition unique, there are obviously enough common aspects of PKD patients’ experience that can be learned and utilized in such a way that you can know to a great degree what to expect.
In other words, the scope of ignorance can be made smaller by talking with other PKD patients who are ahead of you on the “PKD Odyssey.”
I’m always available to share my experiences.
Let me invite you to connect with me at:
info@innergameofpkd.com
Thanks!
Coach Richie Perl