In my last post, I discussed the “inconveniences” that your Polycystic Kidney Disease may present to you. Inconveniences like a limited amount of time for having “good times.”
There are also major aspects of life that your PKD may keep you from. Like a job! Like a marriage! I’m sure many of you can relate!
It is a well-documented aspect of kidney disease that depression is a likely part of what must be dealt with on the PKD Odyssey. (Full disclosure: I take Zoloft.) So, on top of the physical aspects of PKD, there are the emotional aspects, which, if not dealt with, can add more to your burden.
The point here is that for life to be reasonably worthwhile, we need certain “satisfactions.” When a PKD patient is symptomatic, either directly from the disease, or from “side effects” of treatment, there is a good chance that the capability of the “pursuit of happiness” will be diminished.
You may not “feel up to” being with friends, doing pleasurable activities, and just being and expressing “who you really are.”
I’m sure that you can see that this limitation of activities is not helpful for one’s well-being, over and above the effects of the disease itself.
As usual, part of the way to deal with these “limitations” is to determine what is, and what is not in your control.
One thing to remember: You can’t control other people. If a friend or even a spouse “chooses” to withdraw, as painful as it is, ultimately there is nothing you can do about it. (You can may the other person feel guilty enough so that he/she will stay, but you probably wouldn’t want that to be the basis of any relationship.)
What IS in your control is your attitude. OK. Some of you will have a relatively minor effect from your PKD. Some will have a greater effect. But one thing everyone can do is: Ask for help! From your medical team, from your family, from your friends, from the people on the PKD message boards, even, believe it or not, from me!
Help may be discussing side effects from your treatment with your doctor. It may be asking family members to sit down with you to discuss the “new reality” concerning your disease and its ramifications. It may be to keep your friends up-to-date (in a casual manner, so they don’t feel like a captive audience to your “descriptions”). Or, it may be to ask that good, supportive friend for a “few moments” of his/her time to “get something off my chest.”
You may not always get the help you request. Nobody ever does. Others have their own problems. But if you make your requests in a sincere, honest way, your chances of receiving the help you need will increase. Put yourself in the other person’s place. You wouldn’t want to keep hearing a friend “whining” about his/her situation.
If you need someone that will LISTEN to you, contact me. We can schedule a complimentary telephone conversation to determine what you might be able to do to have the highest quality of life possible for you.
I’m at:
Guiding PKD patients to a higher quality of life,
I wish you the best that life can offer!
Coach Richie Perl
Certified Professional Coach
Certified Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
