Joy. Fear. Sadness. Ecstasy. Anger. Satisfaction. Depression,Triumph.

Like Jim Valvano said, to have a good day, you’ve got to laugh, and you’ve got to cry!

Without emotions, we would be robots. Emotions, in and of themselves, are GOOD!

We like “positive” emotions, and, at least most of us, don’t like “negative” emotions.

However, we experience what we experience. Bad news usually triggers “negative” emotions. And, obviously, good news triggers “positive” emotions.

But since emotions have motion, we don’t have to hold on to them. Especially the “negative” ones!

As we experience, let’s say sadness, it’s natural to characterize the sadness we feel as, individually, “my sadness” and “I AM sad.” Of course, this phraseology increases the sense of “ownership” of the emotion. (if this was a “positive” emotion, like “joy,” this is desirable!)

For “negative” emotions, I have learned that by “de-personalizing” the way we characterize a “negative” emotion, it loses the “hold” it has on us.

When I get sad or angry, after I identify and acknowledge that I “am” sad or angry, I make a shift.

‘l think, “Hmmm. Wow. This (not “my”) anger has really got a hold of me. This anger may be justified, but it is not helpful.

And as I self-think this way, the anger is somehow less “attached” to me. As I continue to perceive the anger as something separate from me, my subjective of “anger” decreases!

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming, this is an aspect of what is known as dis-association. The idea is to “objectify” that which is normally perceived as part of one’s identity.

“My” anger becomes “this” anger. “My” problems become “these” problems.

Even talking to a doctor:  Changing “my” pain” to “this” pain in my back reduces any sense of “whining,” which, in my experience, doctors aren’t thrilled dealing with!

Consider the following:

“This is what we must do!”  and

“I am of the opinion that this course of action would be most beneficial.”

OK, OK. That’s a bit extreme, but I think you get my, er.. the point!

So dis-associate from “your” “negative” emotions! And look at them from a more objective viewpoint.

You might learn something about yourself. You might even amaze yourself!

That’s a great emotion!

Peace and Blessings!

Coach Richie Perl

Certified Professional Coach

Certified Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming