Continuing with the idea of human-to human support, I would like to, at the risk of pointing out the obvious, discuss the benefits of “live, real-time human contact!”
Most of us have had the experience of “venting” to a willing (or unwilling!) listener. We feel a sense of being “unburdened,” at least for a while.
Similarly, when sharing a “win,” something positive (“My creatinine was a bit lower!”) to a listener, there is an increased sense of validation in the process of sharing.
These are no small benefits! The ability to use language to express feelings is a big part of what makes us human. Consider poetry and literature. Consider the fact that artists can use language to express feelings, and that we as readers can benefit by having the artists express our feelings for us.
A willing and knowing listener, who by the virtue of traveling on the same PKD Odyssey as the speaker, can increase the sense of “unburdening” and “validation” that the speaker experiences, thus making the sharing more effective than “merely” posting the issues on a message board.
Plus, there is real-time, two-way interaction, during which the “message” can be clarified if the listener doesn’t “get it” at first.
“Friend, I hear you when you say you feel like crap. Do you mean physically, emotionally, or both?” (“Feel” can mean physical sensations, or “mood.”)
In the process of clarifying the message, the speaker must go through a process of utilizing language to more precisely describe the state of being he/she is experiencing. The clearer, more precise the message, the greater the sense of “unburdening” (catharsis) or validation.
The feeling of both being “listened to,” AND being “heard,” is a very satisfying feeling. In many respects it’s like the year-and-a-half old child struggling to be understood, and the satisfaction when “Mommy” finally understands what he/she is trying to say! Or, trying to make yourself understood in a foreign country. Doesn’t it feel great when “they” finally understand what you want?
So my friends, how can we “up the ante,” so to speak, in providing a level of support that is more effective than on-line message boards?
Years ago, the concept of “pen-pals” was popular. This is 2009. Can “phone-buddies” be a viable form of “support?” With the technology available, I think it is.
What do you think?
Keep the conversation going!
Peace and Blessings!
Coach Richie Perl
Certified Professional Coach
Certified Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Here’s another question for you to consider….what would make phone buddies any betterthan having a realtime one-on-one online chat with someone? The telephone does not allow for a cathartic hug or any human touch that might help soothe an inividual’s aching body, mind, or soul. Just wondering…
Karyn
Hi, Karyn!
The question is, “What’s the ideal?”
I believe it would be in-person, one-to-one “counseling” (or coaching(!) )
If that’s not available, I believe the telephone would be the next best option. It’s real-time and the feelings which are expressed through the tone of voice can be responded to by the “listener.”
Next might be the one-to-one on-line chat (which I’ve done a number of times.)
In my experience, the lack of the the auditory expression makes it a lot less desirable than phone contact.
I suspect, though, that “soon,” the capability of “video-phone” will be much more accessible in the not too distant future!
I’m sure you’re aware of the existence of “on-line medical exams!”
I actually participated in a test of such a system back in 1998!
The old phone ad, “Reach out and touch someone” may be closer than we think!
In the meantime,
“Just relax…notice your breathing…inhaling…exhaling…notice the contact of your body with the chair…experience the relief as you allow the stress of the day melt away!!!”
Peace and Blessings!
Coach Richie Perl
Richie,
Funny you should mention this, but for the last 10 years since PKD became a part of my daily vocabulary ‘smelling the roses’ at every turn has been something I’ve taken to heart. I honestly strive to find positive thoughts every day and take note of what is good in my life. I suppose if this is a natural byproduct of embracing a life-threatening disease, then it’s not all for naught.
As I board the plane Friday morning on my way to a week long vacation to Palm Springs with Jerry to celebrate 33 wonderful years of marriage, love, and friendship, I am certain that I will take your advice and “relax…..and allow the stress of the day(s) melt away.”
Thanks for the nice, calming thoughts!
Karyn
Hi, Karyn!
First of all, have a great trip! Break par!
Second of all, if even written words helped move your mind , then body towards first the concept of relaxation and then the experience of relaxation, think how listening to a “real” voice, live or a recording can make that mental/physical “shift” more powerfully!
And if a patient is undergoing stress for whatever reason (and there are many reasons!) , imagine how helpful the sound of a calming voice can be.
I’m sure as a baby you received such soothing from your parents, and undoubtedly you provided a source of soothing comfort to your girls!
Could that have been accomplished using an on-line forum?
Peace and Blessings!
Coach Richie