Comments on: Polycyatic Kidney Disease: Communication http://innergameofpkd.com/2009/11/23/polycyatic-kidney-disease-communication/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=polycyatic-kidney-disease-communication Easing Your Journey On Your PKD Odyssey Fri, 03 Sep 2010 18:24:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: CoachRichie http://innergameofpkd.com/2009/11/23/polycyatic-kidney-disease-communication/comment-page-1/#comment-62 CoachRichie Thu, 26 Nov 2009 15:47:24 +0000 http://innergameofpkd.com/?p=320#comment-62 Hi, Lisa! Your attitude is COMPLETELY realistic! It's easy for someone to compare one person's situation to some abstract, dis-personal situation. It's like the person who says he cares about someone with PKD by casually writing a check to the PKD Foundation. The money is nice, but the human connection is absent. You have the freedom to choose how you deal with people, and whom you deal with. I don't know about you, but I don't seek agreement. Everyone is different. However, I do like to be understood. When I feel that I am "dismissed" by someone, that's pretty much the end of that relationship! Keep On Truckin' ! Coach Richie Perl Hi, Lisa!
Your attitude is COMPLETELY realistic!
It’s easy for someone to compare one person’s situation to some abstract, dis-personal situation.
It’s like the person who says he cares about someone with PKD by casually writing a check to the PKD Foundation. The money is nice, but the human connection is absent.
You have the freedom to choose how you deal with people, and whom you deal with.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t seek agreement. Everyone is different. However, I do like to be understood.
When I feel that I am “dismissed” by someone, that’s pretty much the end of that relationship!

Keep On Truckin’ !
Coach Richie Perl

]]> By: Lisa http://innergameofpkd.com/2009/11/23/polycyatic-kidney-disease-communication/comment-page-1/#comment-61 Lisa Thu, 26 Nov 2009 04:34:23 +0000 http://innergameofpkd.com/?p=320#comment-61 One of my attitudes has long been that this is my reality, and that is yours. I've had people try to guilt me into being less depressed by telling me about abject poverty in India or Africa, or about kids just a few miles away who haven't owned anything new in their entire lives. And that sucks. But that's their reality, and this is mine. I don't go with the one-upmanship, unless the person I'm talking to starts it. Then, unless they're dying tomorrow, I usually win. Empty victory, that's why I don't pursue it. And if I feel myself having no sympathy for someone, then I examine my feelings about that person. Usually turns out that I couldn't care less if that person was doing well or not. For the people I love, the people who do listen to me, the people I try not to burden, I do care what they say and how they feel, and what they're going through. And no, they generally can't compete, but it's never a competition. Well, no, that's not completely true, but we usually get over it pretty quickly. In my friends, one of the things I look for is an understanding that their reality is not my reality, and neither is less than the other for the difference. That, and I have no trouble tuning people out if I just couldn't care less if their son got a D in gym. One of my attitudes has long been that this is my reality, and that is yours. I’ve had people try to guilt me into being less depressed by telling me about abject poverty in India or Africa, or about kids just a few miles away who haven’t owned anything new in their entire lives. And that sucks. But that’s their reality, and this is mine.

I don’t go with the one-upmanship, unless the person I’m talking to starts it. Then, unless they’re dying tomorrow, I usually win. Empty victory, that’s why I don’t pursue it. And if I feel myself having no sympathy for someone, then I examine my feelings about that person. Usually turns out that I couldn’t care less if that person was doing well or not.

For the people I love, the people who do listen to me, the people I try not to burden, I do care what they say and how they feel, and what they’re going through. And no, they generally can’t compete, but it’s never a competition. Well, no, that’s not completely true, but we usually get over it pretty quickly.

In my friends, one of the things I look for is an understanding that their reality is not my reality, and neither is less than the other for the difference.

That, and I have no trouble tuning people out if I just couldn’t care less if their son got a D in gym.

]]> By: CoachRichie http://innergameofpkd.com/2009/11/23/polycyatic-kidney-disease-communication/comment-page-1/#comment-59 CoachRichie Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:00:39 +0000 http://innergameofpkd.com/?p=320#comment-59 Hi, Steve! I understand! In my vision of having PKD "buddies," the big challenge is for the "buddies" to avoid "one-upmanship." Our egos have a habit of wanting to make us feel superior even in suffering! There is always someone better off than me, and there is always someone worse off than me. As long as we hold that perspective, we can attempt to accept our present situation, without being resigned to it. Peace and Blessings! Coach Richle Perl Hi, Steve!

I understand! In my vision of having PKD “buddies,” the big challenge is for the “buddies” to avoid “one-upmanship.”
Our egos have a habit of wanting to make us feel superior even in suffering!
There is always someone better off than me, and there is always someone worse off than me. As long as we hold that perspective, we can attempt to accept our present situation, without being resigned to it.

Peace and Blessings!
Coach Richle Perl

]]> By: Steve jackson http://innergameofpkd.com/2009/11/23/polycyatic-kidney-disease-communication/comment-page-1/#comment-58 Steve jackson Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:12:33 +0000 http://innergameofpkd.com/?p=320#comment-58 Hi Coach It's hard to sit back tho and listen to someone complain about a sore toe or sore back from doing what they want to do.when you know they are going to get better in a few days and the only way we get "better" is a transplant. You want to say I'll trade youbut you know they don't understand.When I talk to other pkd'ers I try not to gloom and doom about how bad I feel,I try to give them the answers they are looking for and not candy coat it but be as honest as possable,like when they took my kidneys out is was no walk in the park but not having to eat pain killers all day it was worth it but then the downside side is having to do exchanges 4 times a day or 3 days a week on hemo.I could go on forever but I'll stop here. God Bless Steve Jackson Hi Coach
It’s hard to sit back tho and listen to someone complain about a sore toe or sore back from doing what they want to do.when you know they are going to get better in a few days and the only way we get “better” is a transplant. You want to say I’ll trade youbut you know they don’t understand.When I talk to other pkd’ers I try not to gloom and doom about how bad I feel,I try to give them the answers they are looking for and not candy coat it but be as honest as possable,like when they took my kidneys out is was no walk in the park but not having to eat pain killers all day it was worth it but then the downside side is having to do exchanges 4 times a day or 3 days a week on hemo.I could go on forever but I’ll stop here.
God Bless
Steve Jackson

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