I’m curious about something.
(And you certainly don’t owe me an answer!)

How is your social life in Colorado?

And, how are you doing with your accounting “career?”

Take care!
Coach Richie Perl

I find ways to channel my frustration and anger into something constructive. It’s not 100%, but it’s far better than just hanging around being pissed. That’s probably why, even though I am frustrated and angry (heartburn took my voice, too), I’m not constantly aware of my problems. Dwelling on them does me no good.

I wasn’t aware that you don’t have health insurance. That’s a tough obstacle to overcome.
I’ve discussed anger before. In your case, it seems that you don’t have any constructive outlet for that anger. Or maybe you do!

Lisa, obviously I don’t know you. But I am going to be a bit presumptuous. I would like to make a suggestion to you:

MEDITATE! Meditation, after a while, will reduce the level of your anger and may lower your BP somewhat.
And it’s free!

I wish there was something I could do to decrease the level of frustration you’re dealing with. But I can’t. Only you can, by adjusting your attitude to one that fllowws the “Serenity Prayer.”

One Day At A Time, Lisa!

Peace and Blessings!
Coach Richie Perl

“…acceptance does not mean giving in or giving up….for me it means fighting to the finish to retain a healthy quality of life.”

I’ve often felt the same way about other things. I haven’t quite reached it for my PKD.

@ Richie:
I’m still angry, I suppose, about everything. I think I’m trying to deal with my myriad issues one at a time, and it’s not working well. Just overwhelmed, I suppose, they’re not all physical. Without health insurance, I’m pretty much limited to what I can do, so I’m trying to deal with the most pressing first. PKD isn’t it. Over two years with out-of-control hypertension and no testing; probably not a good thing, but it’s what I can afford.

I think, in addition to being angry about having PKD, and having next-to no personal support system, I’m also angry about living in a place where, as much money as we supposedly make, we can’t take care of our own people. I’m angry about the fact that, but for medical care, I could be out there participating and contributing, instead of heading for becoming yet another burden.

Physically, I feel okay; at least, no worse than I have in the past couple years. The nausea is irritating, but if I take enough antacid (Prilosec or high dose of Pepcid), and take my time eating, then it’s usually okay for a couple days. Actually, even that’s really irritating, because I’m eating smaller meals, but still haven’t lost a pound…

Yes, you have a lot to be bitter about.
You didn’t ask or create the situation you’re in.
And, yes, a burst cyst hurts like hell! I’ve had one! (Fortunately, just one!)

I’m curious as to where you are on your PKD Odyssey.

My nausea went away when I went on dialysis.

Keep the conversation going!

Peace and Blessings!
Coach Richie Perl

Your last sentence sums up the point I’m making!
“Acceptance” is not “resignation!”
You acknowledge that you have the disease and carry on with that understanding.
In no way does “acceptance” equate to “complacency,” or “being at peace with it.”
On the contrary!
Acceptance hopefully leads to pro-activity in terms of education, self-knowledge and self-care!
Because we “accept” our disease, we do not “deny” its effects!
That’s why you’re so active and contribute so much!

Peace and Blessings!
Coach Richie Perl

I’ve accepted this, though; it’s almost become a non-issue. It really is just “one more thing” for me, since its impact on my life is actually less than in combination with other things. Mostly, it just means the back pain radiates out a little farther to each side and higher up my back.

Well, that’s not quite true. I developed high blood pressure as a direct result, and I’ve had probably gallons of blood taken from me, and as much pain as I was in every month until my surgery, nothing beat the feeling of having a kidney cyst burst. Not even surgery. Although, to be fair, morphine was involved with the surgery.

My clothes don’t fit properly anymore; I have a gut, where I never have before, even when I weighed more than I do now; I get nauseous at random, it seems; I can’t enjoy the foods I used to because they make me feel ill; sometimes, I can’t sleep because lying on my stomach (the only way I can fall asleep) makes my back, in the kidney region, hurt.

Hmm. Maybe I’m not quite at acceptance, yet. Still feeling pretty bitter about that stuff.

While I still scratch my head from time to time and ponder the ‘why me’, especially since I have zero family history, I have come to terms with the fact that PKD is a huge part of my life and I feel that I have little choice but to make the best of it. Like wearing double socks if I want to skate, I navigate my life through the twists and turns of this illness and face its challenges head on. I try to hold fast to the mindset that PKD will not beat me as long as I stay educated, informed, and proactive in my health care.

So, I suppose this is acceptance…..not always a happy place to be, but certainly a better place than being caught up in the hopelessness and despair that often accompanies chronic diseases such as PKD.

And one last thought….acceptance does not mean giving in or giving up….for me it means fighting to the finish to retain a healthy quality of life.

Karyn

No, not formally. When I was in psychotherapy, the subject of “introjection” came up, about my Dad and other family “events.”
I did study this phenomenon in my NLP training.
This is the phenomenon have “holding on” to a past event and “representing” it consciously and/or unconsciously as if it happened in the immediate past.
So, if you perceived a traumatic event as a young person, that perception remains the same even after many years have passed. The fact that the “younger you” may have had an “immature” perception is not taken into account even though you are now “mature,” and would not have had that earlier perception if you experienced it now.
So if you saw your father suffer at a young age, and didn’t have the “maturity” to process the perception in a mature way, the “imprint” of the perception of the event stays no matter how many years may pass.
In NLP, the process is to “separate” the current “you” and the “younger you” in order to similarly put the “immature” imprint back to the “younger ypu,” and construct a more “mature” perception of the original event in the “current” you.

Aren’t you glad you asked?

Coach Richie Perl